Time to be quiet Joe (Image for PA)The website “Funny sh@t my dad says” catalogues the crazy things that author Justin Halpern’s dad used to say on a daily basis. It appears as though Joe Kinnear is auditioning to replace Justin’s dad as he continues his campaign of incorrectness with his lasts interview, this time to the Shields Gazette. In another baffling interview, Kinnear struggled to tell the truth even once, instead stretching the truth to the point that it actually shattered in front of him. Does the man not understand that this is the media and what he says will likely be reported word for word? Or does he believe he is talking to a four year old who won’t remember anyways so everything will be fine.

Oh no, i said what?  (Image from Getty)
Oh no, i said what?
(Image from Getty)

The latest gaffs, straight from the horse’s mouth, praised his appointment as Director of Football, a first in football terms as there have been no other former managers that have then gone on to be Director of Football. Very strange, and something I think Kenny Dalglish, David Pleat and Avram Grant to name a few may have a problem with. He continued to explained to a likely shocked Gazette reporter that his 35 years of managerial experience (26 actually Joe) will stand him in good stead and gives him the advantage over all other Directors of Football in the sense that he can instill knowledge down to the manager. Again Manchester City’s Txiki Begiristain may well have a case to feel aggrieved by this statement, given that he masterminded the last Barcelona revolution and was classified by former coach Pep Guardiola as essential during his time at the club. Alan Pardew, a 14 year managerial veteran may also be wondering what pearls of wisdom Joe is about to bespoke on him.

You're Kidding Right Joe? Dalglish sees the funny side  (Image from PA)
You’re Kidding Right Joe? Dalglish sees the funny side
(Image from PA)

But it’s his clear unawareness of his incorrect stats that are the most baffling. Surely he knows that he wasn’t at Wimbledon for ten years (only 7), or that he didn’t manage Newcastle for 2 years (again only 6 months) and that he didn’t complete two years in charge of Nottingham Forest (he lasted less than a year before being sacked). Or maybe Joe doesn’t believe all this which is even more concerning. I actually am starting to feel bad for Kinnear, who has clearly lost his marbles and is only a few more interview away from claiming he single handedly won the World Cup for England or defeated Napoleon  at the Battle of Waterloo (for the record, both incorrect).

Joe beat Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo? (Image from Xtimeline.com)
Joe beat Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo? (Image from Xtimeline.com)

As funny as this whole situation may sound, unfortunately no one at Newcastle is laughing, especially not the fans. Kinnears remarks, often spoken like the village drunk trying to show off in the local pub to people who don’t really care, are damaging Newcastle’s credibility, not only in the eyes of the media but also in the eyes of future signings and investors who don’t want to work with the club as a result of Kinnears involvement. Amazingly there is still no sign of Newcastle’s PR team coming to the rescue to stop Kinnear’s one man wrecking ball adventures. You would have thought they would have learned for Kinnears last stint at the club when he proceeded to swear 52 times during a media press conference, stopping to single out individuals for “special praise”. But no, nothing. Are they on an extended holiday or too afraid to correct the man who now they probably report to?

That's two interviews i have messed up  (Image from PA)
That’s two interviews i have messed up
(Image from PA)

Newcastle needs to wake up and smell the toxic fumes that are threatening to suffocate the club. Ashley is unlikely to sack him just yet so at least can he put a muzzle on him or better still, in the words of Ant and Dec, just tell him to shut up? The more he speaks the worse it gets so the only solution is to turn him off. Kinnear I’m afraid is not cut out for public speaking and some Geordie fans will argue for the job of Director of Football. The media has already compare Joe Kinnear’s appointment at Newcastle to the similar appointment of Franco Baldini at Tottenham. One is an experienced older statesman with years of training and coaching behind him that can articulate the clubs forward strategy with precision and clarity. The other, unfortunately for Newcastle fans, is Joe Kinnear.

To read the full extract from Kinnear’s latest interview, click here: http://www.shieldsgazette.com/sport/football/newcastle-united/exclusive-kinnear-i-m-head-and-shoulders-above-the-rest-1-5814868

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